Not Your Ordinary

One Big Faith.

2008-09-26T20:44:00.010+08:00

"If we're still behind by huge points after third quarter, let's leave."

Kevin told me this in the middle of the second quarter with our worried faces as we were watching the game. I was in the Ateneo La Salle match with Kevin, and his friends: Irene and Carlo--which seemed like a double date actually, only without the happy ending shown in the movies.

"Ohmygosh, ang sarap nilang talunin, andami nila!"

That was all I was able to say seeing how many Ateneans were ready to get a taste of their sweet victory, the clean sweep against La Salle. I could not believe how many Greens still attended the match. Everybody had a clear vision of the huge possibility that Ateneo could win that day. Yet still, DLSU students, GH, Z--and even romantically connected to students from these schools were there supporting. They probably still filled two-fifths of the dome.

STILL.
It was a huge thing for me.

Every painful moment of the game (such as: wrong call of the referees), I would flinch and sit down. I was not quite sure if I could still watch the game. The only thing I had was the thought that if I could not deal with it, how much could the players? Or how much could Maierhofer who was thrown out of the court?

The Lord can move mountains. That, I repeatedly whispered to myself. It was the only thing that kept me from leaving the coliseum. It was the only thing that kept me from sitting down and just watching at the screen.

I am not going to write a bitter post about how cheated I felt watching or some complains about the game because that stuff really does no good. But my friends in the Ateneo side really did admit it. Wrong calls and ignored calls were obvious. I was even almost-over of the loss awhile ago when I heard from the news (TV Patrol) something like, when the video was replayed, no body was really sure that Rico Maierhofer made the bad finger. In the video, which finger was raised wasn't even clear. Rico said he raised one finger to call JV Casio.

--which was possible, I must say. They were rising up. Their score was coming near the opponent's, it feels weird to actually think that he did that when all Greens were feeling that strong adrenaline rush and were hoping that something could still happen.

On the other hand, I still say mountains were moved yesterday. The fact that Ateneo won over La Salle was something. It was not something that happens often. So the mountains moved in their favor.

But as a UP student third party observer, who was there simply because I belong to that little crowd who was dragged along by their romantic partners in La Salle, I say I admire those Green students there.

To stand there and still believe, even though they fell back to more than 10 points again--like the previous matches....
To still have hope...

It was one thing I loved about these students from La Salle yesterday.

Ateneo students expected themselves to win. They claimed it even the day before the game.
They knew they owned that ONE BIG FIGHT.

But La Salle students were not expecting anything...
All they had was nothing but their ONE BIG FAITH.

And it was enough for me to admire them. :)
Til the next season.
Congratulations.

I hate my blogspot. :(

2008-04-10T19:34:00.001+08:00

Last time I was so happy with my layout.
Pero seeing how it looks using Firefox drives me crazy. :((

I'm feeling down I feel like I suck at this. :(

Baguio, yey! :)

2008-04-03T23:34:00.002+08:00

I think. I think...
I'm excited. :)

I'm waiting for 1AM, cos then, Janelle and Benjo will come pick us up. Oh my inaantok nako.

Anyway, that's it then. :*

Happy Summer Vacation everyone :)

Wasak. New Layout "NYO"

2008-04-03T14:15:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so sad.

Awhile ago I was really really happy accomplishing the new layout of my blogger, but now I feel like shit. For one,

THIS SITE IS WASAK IN FIREFOX.

But I don't understand why I should care for the ones who use Firefox. I'm using IE, and my blog looks good to me. Why bother?

Well, I know that those who are using the Mini Asus Laptops are viewing this site using Firefox.

AND ARGH. FIREFOX IS EXISTING. PERIOD. :((

But okay, recalling my happiness... :) My eyes are pleased with what I see here. I missed updating my blogspot too. I remember I didn't just start writing in ChiqPare.blogspot.com in June 2006, unlike what you see here. I perfectly remember hiding my entries somewhere because I found myself drowned in deepshit.

From then on, I have become totally aware of the presence of The UnGood in the World Wide Web. And since then, I have completely engaged myself to concealing in my blog entries. Most of it, I guess. Not really lying, just... not saying everything.

Because no matter how I fight my stand saying, I am just expressing my emotions, some people are really bound to get sick of my views. If you see me do it though, keep in mind that I may do it intentionally to crush someone else's head. Allow me though, it's not something I do everyday.

So with this, I end my first post in Chiqpare.Blogspot.Com Version 4.0.

I'm having difficulty understanding why I have Blogger, Multiply, and Livejournal.
I may be updating here and there once in a while.
Wherever takes me.

So go on and catch me. If you can.
I'm not your ordinary -. :)

Story book endings & fairly tales coming true...

2008-03-20T18:30:00.003+08:00

^ That, is what my new blog theme's gonna be about.

Holy week ngaun. but I dont feel any bit of holiness. :(

I'm stuffed with school.
I hate school. Tsk

I Miss My Bed.

2008-03-08T06:11:00.002+08:00

It's always like this. Whenever it's finals week, midterms, or the like, my bed becomes the computer chair. And then even though you dont intend to sleep (and much more that you don't intend to blog--like what I"m doing now), you find yourself having backaches --and most esp ass-aches. :((

I wish I could sleep 9am-10am later. Butnah. It doesnt seem like it can help much.

Okay, I most certainly have to leave.
But my whole point is that I miss my bed.
Pray for me for Natsci exam. XP

Major Sadness in this Unperfect Weekend

2008-03-02T15:42:00.002+08:00

It took me only a day of researching for my extemporaneous speech to COMPLETELY MISS THE WORLD OF BLOGGING. Smelling the air of the unperfect Sunday afternoon, I can remember well how I had difficulty in breathing last Friday night. Why so? I knew there was so much to do. And I was embracing the fact that the weekend is not enough to complete the tasks. I had continuous conversations with Janelle and Kevin that night:

Kevin, insisting the group to come with him as he was given a room in Diamond hotel by his dad, and
Janelle, who was currently preparing for the Neyo concert that time, telling me she'll go if I'll go.
And of course me, saying I could NOT afford to abandon my handouts, for all times sake.

So the supposedly Friday overnight funness in that five-star hotel automatically drove from something to nothing.
*clapclap*
And right after I told Kevin the very statement that Janelle won't go if I won't go --since Benjo won't go 'cos it's a given fact that quintet + benjo = do not mix...
"Sinabi na eh," Kevin remarked beautifully.

LOL.
Evil Jel. :p
Now I'm blogging in this weirdest weekend I've ever had.

97% of the time I spent it on my study table or on the computer.
Major sadness! :((

Well one, I hate it that when I opened my seriously fukcked and spammed baby_eynjel@yahoo.com (Note: Please never e-mail me there. I only use that ad for YM --SOMETIMES.) I had difficulty looking for Kenneth's email to me. Seriously, sick people from all over the world just can't get enough of spamming. Virused spams are dated Year 2017. So my
inbox with 5658 new messages are full of FUTURE emails.

Like wtf.

And again, I can't believe I'm blogging blogspot.
Like I perfectly forgot the things I have to read in this unperfectly damned weekend.

This blog is in need of a major make over.
Oh God. Please give me time to art.

What's in a date??

2007-02-14T09:30:00.000+08:00

Oh Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
Or if thou wilt not
Be but sworn my love
And I'll no longer be a Capulet

Tis but thy name, that is my enemy
Thou art thyself, thou not a Montague
What's Montague? It is not hand, nor foot
Nor arm, nor face. O, be some other name,
belonging to a man.

What's in a name? That which we call a rose?
By any other word would smell sweet.
So Romeo would were he not Romeo called?
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title, Romeo doff thy name
And for thy name, which is no part of thee
Take all myself.
-Juliet's soliloquy in Romeo n Juliet

--

Love is patient and kind. It is never jealous, conceited or proud. Love is not ill-mannered, or selfish, or irritable. It does not keep a record of wrongs. Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up, and its faith, hope and patience never fail.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

---

Those two long lines I memorized years ago. Juliet's line when I was in 5th grade, and the verse when I was in 1st year HS. It was a matter of memorizing the line not because I had to, but just beacuse I wanted to. Cause I thought that if there were these lines I want to be certain of knowing, those were the two.

It is very flattering and convenient, that whenever asked to define love, I will just have to recite that memorized by heart verse. --Or maybe give the verse alone.

---

And today is Valentine's Day.
Which does not have to matter
If I don't want it to matter.

So.. what's in a date?

It's done. But not really.

2007-02-03T21:04:00.000+08:00

Natsci's done.
I took the test awhile ago.
Good then, I feel like napull off na yung tinik sa tonsils ko.
Wait.. Damn! Anu nga ba yun? Ah! Natanggalan ng tinik yung lalamunan ko.

I went to school early today to take nga the exam.
Then it ended early so I hurried off to Glorietta to get my Moto which I brought there yesterday to have fixed.
Too bad balikan ko nalang daw on Tuesday. Like how is that possible naman kaya eh I have PE!

Ohwel. Whatever.

I saw na my dreamphone. I held it pa nga. Pero it's not 3G. I'm not sure if I'll save up for it. Ayoko sabihin unit. I'm happy hindi sikat yung phone. Sana hindi xa sumikat para not everyone would have it. Para hindi malaos.. It's MOTO though. :P

It's Tito's bday party tomorrow, and his birthday on monday. So we'll be going to QC tomorrow. So homeworks ngaun, liwaliw tomorrow. Wow.. like posible ba yun? Hahaha!

I feel like crying everytime I remember my Natsci exam. Argh.... I wish to enjoy life and to stop feeling devastated in every single aspect of my life's minutes. Is that even achievable?

Accomplishing my mission.

2007-01-31T20:13:00.000+08:00

0 pages waiting. So I'm done reading once. Did they invade my head? Nope. So I have to read those 150 pages again. Crap.

It's chilling cold here. :( Now hmm.. What should I wear in school tomorrow then? I'll be teaching in Quirino again. I feel like eating lunch in La Salle, I haven't gone there for quite some time. I miss Cerealicious. But ohw. I've got cough anyway, cold food won't do me good.

Iman and I talked about our plan. Then we executed it. Then someone stopped him from doing the plan --his plan. The sad thing is, no one's stopping me from doing mine. But like I said, one part of the plan is to ditch the hope, ditch all hopes, ditch every hope existing.

Anyway, I'm tired. I'm tired of figuring out really what's within those cold blood sheets. But I've been ranting too much now. I wonder when my screen would really close and black out, then two words would flash on the screen, background black, words in green saying: Mission Accomplished. Wow... I'm dreaming too much of video games, huh? Kevin, I need those dance pads as soon as possible. (Wait, I think I need the Play Station first. Hahaha!)

Feb is coming. Feb is tomorrow.
I wonder if I'll get something from Valentines. Surely honey, a certificate of being a College Scholar won't give me a really wide smile compared to the kind of smile I'd probably give when I get flowers or chocolates on 14 or something. Ah! I have a PETAL JAR pa naman, wherein I collect the petals of the flowers people give me. I'd really love to put more and more petals in that jar!! :) Anyway, last year, I didn't expect in getting one but I did. Ohwell, whatever to this time. But I want that certificate of CS soon.

I'm planning a date with my best friend on 14. :)
Singles date out, or best friend's vday. :) Few years of countdown before we'd never get to spend the 14 together. Maybe on the years to come it'd be spent with some unknown guy who'll crawl me down to intoxication. Maybe.
But I dunno. I also want to spend it with my 'rents. :) Somewhere at the Fort.

Oh yea. Whatever. 2 weeks pa naman un.
Pray for me for my exams.

Worth it.

2007-01-30T00:18:00.000+08:00

exam is postponed from wednesday to saturday.

i think God's giving me a chance to study more (--oops.. or let's scratch out the word more)
from 120 pages waiting, 90's left.
i think i can read around 20 pages tonight... then more tomorrow.
what i need are review sheets.
reading this seemingly unabridged textbook tortures my eyes.

i wonder what score i got in math?

nash got 7/20. gawd. si nash na un ha.
i slept at 3 yesterday to finish my annotated bibliography and then what??
the prof was there, but he decided not to have a class.
and the papers weren't collected.
wow... what a nice way to start the week.
sieg and i had to run the ends of the earth just to photocopy that thing and then WHAM! no class. wow.

i saw the bracelet! :) kc wore it!!!! hahaha... perfect fit!
footsal-ers people txted me awhile ago, reminded me that there's a game and practice tomorrow. wow. oh good Lord, when will my sickness end? well obviously, my dad wont let me play til i get better. and maybe of course, i too wont let myself play til then. i just feel bad... i wanna play footsal naaaa. :(

weird. i saw bianca today. and he just kept on laughing all the way. i wonder why he was laughing.

i think it was like, "haha! there's the girl who broke my heart. hahaha!" weird... is that supposed to be a funny line?
ahh or maybe.. it's a "haha! i haven't seen her for a long time... wow there she goes.. haha!" no ehh..
or.. "hahaha! of all places to see her sa taft pa habang tumatawid xa! hahahaha!" --maybe.
or maybe something else..
or maybe the laughter's a fake?

it's a tiring day i just wanna keep on sleeping all the way.

a part of me wants to release everything and stop holding my natsci book and forget about the 90 pages waiting for me to be read.
then a part of me's yelling that the exam is on saturday pa.
but a part of me of course is yelling louder that it's hell week. when it's hell.. it's hell. --gawd! i hate hell.

what else is interesting today? ahh.. the person's grateful.. too grateful.
and what was given after all the thanks? thumbs up.

it was worth it.
happiness and regrets? --ok il try not to feel them.
as daddy said, "always live life of no regrets and leave what holds you back to your past."

My Sweet Suicide.

2007-01-29T00:49:00.000+08:00

Suicide / Killing myself. --yea that's how dad calls my study habits.
"pinapatay mo sarili mo."
if you think about it, he's soo right.

sleeping so late, waking up early, attending all classes, forgetting you lack sleep, engaging in sports... WOAH. and then even though youre chilling cold or smoking hot with an intense fever, go parin sa school.

i started practicing that when i was in maksci, and developing it now that im in UP. and there are just these times when i REALLY WANT TO STOP bleeding myself to death.

but there is always this line i always repeat to my friends back in high school...
how can you feel the heavenness after [the exams/requirement days] if you wont feel the hellness of hellweek?
and again, that will keep me moving and slashing myself over and over again. die die die die.. then resurrect.

i remember i always used to be a kontrabida to some boys when we were still in high school. cos theyll say: YES! TAPOS NA EXAMS! TARA DOTA TAYO! WHOOOOO!
and then eepal ako at hihirit, e so what kung tapos na exams? was it anything different to you? may nagiba ba? di ka naman nagaral nung exam week eh
booom! sapol!... taray.... eh kasi naman eh. what's there to celebrate anyway?

150 pages to read for my natsci dep exam. more than a hundred pages still waiting for me. argghhh so i gotta jet.

i finally realized that the real key is to ditch the hope. that's the hardest part maybe. but i sure can do this. one thing i cant get rid off is the anger im feeling towards my friend. we're friends, we're so close... but im hating ur actions. i dunno. BUT IM HATING EVERY BIT OF YOU. so stop shoving to my face the fast fucks (ooops...pardon me... FACTS) i DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.

cos girl friend... mama.. dear.. close.. bitch...
let us not shove it to my face but let us shove the GUN TO YOUR HEAD, while i slowly whisper to your ear my sweet words...
i am NO FOOL.

and not until you admit to me, you two, your back stabbing loserness will you stop ROTTING IN HELL.

shut your ass you FAKE!

[it feels good releasing my thoughts of anger. but now my heart aches saying these mean words. please Lord..... arghh... i'l delete this in time... pardon me...... please just shower them with guilt. and wash my anger away with forgiveness and happiness. i just cant forgive yet cos what's there to forgive? the word sorry i havent heard in centuries.]

Happy Bday Kevin! :)

2007-01-27T09:14:00.000+08:00

Kevin had his birthday party yesterday and omg. It was a blast. :)
There were drinks served and I was allowed to drink, but I didn't cos RED HORSE ung sinerve, I wasn't sure if I would like the taste of it or whatever. :P

So many people were there. Those who weren't in Nelle's party were there. So good talaga na I went, so I got to see those people I've been missing na. :) TOTAL FUN TALAGA AND EVERYTHING. :) I mean, like Monique's there, omg!! I mean, a lot naman was there like aj, bernard, azul... bsta... madami..

Another omg is Ryan. Like wow... First time ko siya nakitang magingay. I mean, that guy who rarely opens his mouth and talks?!? OMG. Kung ano ano nang sinasabi nia nung lasing siya. May hawak pa xang beer nung pumunta xa sa harap to give a message to Kevin.

I bonded most of the time with Janelle --except maybe when Dynna and I started singing on stage with Don playing. I kinda feel good lang cos I haven't got to bond with Nelle na since nagtoxic UP-Nursing life nia. :P So Im happy she made it to the party and we stayed in my house for like some minutes kasi dito siya sinundo. :)

CRAP lang talaga cos we have this make up class in NatSci later at 1 which I totally don't understand why we still have to eh we didn't miss any class--as in NONE talaga. Kaya mejo badtrip. We're forced to go talaga kasi may quiz pa xang ibibigay. Ohwell. So I kinda have to review now. :)

O yan. Yaay. I'm blogging again. I'm starting to think how much blogspot sucks... I even started posting non-sense stuffs sa Multiply kasi nakakairitang magpost sa blogspot. But ohwell, as said, here's the nonsense or informal kwento, dun yung may sense. :P

Pray for me for my Natsci class & exam. :)
Then ahh.. Belated Happy 19th birthday kevin. :) As you said, there's still a next year so we'll be waiting for that. ;) Ahhh! And oh.. Didn't you say you wanna celebrate your debut?! HAHAHAHAHAHA! 21 years old, saang hotel naman kaya yon?! Game go celebrate... At madalang lang guys nagceceleb non. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

New year, same old?? Hell no!

2007-01-06T22:23:00.000+08:00

torinoSome pics.. :P

Badtrip talaga the earthquake. Andaming nagsusuffer dun sa concerned area.
Tapos pati internet nagsusuffer.
Like whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Anyway, I'm back. :)
Hellweek next week so... :(
Got loootsa clothes from DV :)
Grounded sa parties :(

New pictures waiting to be uploaded.
But ohwel. Whatever...
Badtrip talaga ambagal kc magwork ng comp! Argghhh
Ay inet pala...

Before I went online I had sensible stuffs to say.
Now I dont.

Good grief!

Multiply's loaded though.

Humahaba narin bangs ko kaya better na ichura. :)

Malapit na kme magkainet uli!! :)

Eragon's showing next week yipeeeee! :)

Lifeless.

2006-12-21T14:40:00.000+08:00

swelling.
blood red.
couldnt breathe.
staring.
not moving.
lifeless.

"If you want to see me, go here. I cant leave the house."
Is that the gentlest line existing??

Went to Maksci yesterday. Was fun.
Lots of pictures. Watched danztravaganza.
Saw familiar faces. Saw my friends.
Rode Nelle's Starex, Benj, driving.
Powerplant=madepossible.stuffsforgotten
Stuffs=deadly. suicidal.
Spent some time singing videoke in Powerstation.

Hawak Kamay=90%
I Wanna Be With You=100%
:P

Met HOOOOOOOOT koreans.
Well I practically just saw them.. not met them. :P

Gonna sing later... dad's office=xmas party.

I envy those in their vehicles, moving in a fast manner away from the past.
How is that possible??

Christmas=Birthday.
Smiles. :)
Forced?
No clue.

Passing, Learning, Wishing, Praying

2006-12-19T18:22:00.000+08:00

My friends got their classcards today. There were two of them Ive asked to keep me updated about how's it going.
One said: "I passed math.ü"
The other said the opposite.
I am not comparing, cause I hate comparisons. But anyway, I know they both worked hard this term.
I am happy though, for you (the first one), cause I know how much you've been dreading your failure. You have respected yourself less recently because of what has been happening to your life. Failures are there for us to learn, not for us to pity ourselves. I told you I would help you. I did. And I am happy you passed it all this term. And I am thankful, that you are forgetting that I promised you a treat. Haha!

Tomorrow is December 20... Dynna's birthday. I am wishing for a lot of things... So many things. Haaay...

I am sick today. I failed to attend the Misa de Galo this morning. I wish we could attend tonight so I'd get to complete my attendance. Gawd. My eyes are teary --so teary-- cause of my sickness.

I wish to get well soon, I'm pretty stuffed this week.

TOMORROW - danztravaganza (maksci)
THURSDAY - christmas party (dad's office)
FRIDAY - battle of the bands (maksci)

Another thing to be happy for... I realized I have the ability of retaining my friendship with my long distance friends. Like Pat, my best friend since grade one, who migrated when we're in 4th grade. We're still good and updated best buds. Then we have Iman, who STILL knows a lot. Then we have Bokyo, whom I just got to chat with awhile ago. :) Plus Tep, I couldn't feel nga her absence cause we're our frequent update, I still feel that she's just here. Anyway, I'm soo happy to still have you guys around, and how should I say this... That I'm still there for them. :P --what?? Labo! Haha!

Oh well.. I hope I get well soon.

Sleepy Sunday

2006-12-17T20:08:00.000+08:00

Last night was cool. I was with my block9 friends eating sisig in Trish's debut.
Go sisiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig! :) Haha
Kevin and Kai were there too. They were there with Brice, and others... --the LSC college review barkada daw nila..
Masaya. May laglagan nga lang na naganap.. Thanks to Shie's revenge. Tsktsk.

Hmm.. Whatelse, ahh. I drank yung Pomelo thingy.. Sabi nila may halong alcohol daw yun. So uhm.. Ano yun? First drink ko?!?! Okay I wont count it.

Im still waiting for the pictures of the recent events to be uploaded... Antagaal..

Wil prolee go to mum's office some time this week. And dad's office also some time this week.

Obviously I'm bored.

I was supposes to write something. Something sensible. But I was too busy (or in the mood for sleeping kaya later ko nalang write and on Tuesday iupload. :P

Whatever..

Peace to them.

2006-12-15T17:48:00.000+08:00

I did nothing but go online today. =)

I had peace with bksdjfklsjalfkneovneiown (<--kilala nio ba ian?! Hahaha!)
And peace with asldjaioednscnwjfkasdnkasdjkl (<--pati ian?!)

So it's kinda cool.

I'm happier cause I got to talk with this person about what's recently been happening. :) Well. Fine. Things have something to do with your phone nga. AMBULOK KC EH. Hahaha!

Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhh... Starbucks treat dapat tonight.. arggghhh!
Sorry... kasi naman.. short notice. Grrrr... Syempre I'm not allowed.

Napakainformal talaga nitong blogspot ko. Hahahaha! =)

Okay... Hmm..

Waaaahh rin. I'm stuck with her... Omg. Arghhhh.. Please, I'm driving you out... Drive drive drive... Grrrrr..

--Bangag ako.

Merienda contest.... HA! Ako kalaban?! Ako matatalo?! E ang lakaslakas ko kumain eh. duh.

Shucks.. Bangag nga..
http://chiqpare.multiply.com
Medyo andami ng pictures. :) Yaaayayaayay.. :)

Ok. Ayoko mag post talaga pag bangag kc puro nonsense..

Singing with Hot Mama. :P

2006-12-14T14:48:00.000+08:00

I have been totally distant to where I should be these past few.. uhum... days??
I guess I am finally enjoying college bonding with some friends.

No classes today, just ought to submit my stuff for Comm2.
Plus, ought to attend the lantern parade of UP... (or the thursday traffic in taft) --yea I guess we can call the parade that.
I finished two Christmas cards for two UP friends. :)
I uploaded narin the pictures from the official site of OrComSoc... Not yet the studio pics though. Just the pics during the pageant.
http://chiqpare.multiply.com/photos/album/64

Whatelse... Right, I'm gonna be late for school if I still wont scrap this done.

Ooohhh..
I btw watched the Oblation Run... And..... tsk.. It ruined my mood. They were so freaky, and it was so freaky being there, and I was so freaky watching it.
Then I failed finishing the thick ERAGON book overnight. Well, I read more than half.. But still. :(
Then, whoooohooooooo.. I sang the chorus of TUMATAKBO with hot mama Lougee of Mojofly. Omg.. She is soooo hot! Hahahaha. :) We were sitting in front when they had a concert for UP in the atrium of Rob, then she gave us the mic, and I happened to be the one nearest so I sang it. :) My friends were like, "You never mentioned to us you sing!"

Some things are just meant to be kept, and discovered. ;)

I'm betting I'm late for the lantern parade.. :P
Gotta jet.

I wish I have a Saphira like in Eragon so I could like be there in a minute.. :P (Ewwww.. I'm Eragon inspired! Eragon the TH (tryin hard) to be HARRY POTTER. Hahahahhaha! Sorry to Era-fans. :P)

Busybusybusy...

2006-12-10T13:10:00.000+08:00

So busy.

Gonna go to UP Diliman for the play.

Got soooo many stuffs to tell.
But dont have even a bit of time.

Waiting.

2006-12-05T16:59:00.000+08:00

Currently waiting for the clock to tick 6:00.
So by then, I'd be watching MORG LIVE. --well actually, not yet.
I can't believe how stupid this is.
I'd be roaming around rob (well actually, caffeine-ing myself in Gonuts), and would be waiting for my friends to txt me if it is already PARAMITA owning the stage. (That's around 8:30 I think??)
Then I'd be running off to the concert venue (which is just infront of Gonuts), then be jumping 'round like a lil idiot. Then tuloy tuloy na yun until UpDharma performs.

Well partying again til late night, who cares, nothing much school stuffs to do anyway.
My gaaawwwwd.. So many bills in school. Dumagdag pa pageant. Haha..

Well, time check.
an hour before the concert.
5 hours before going home.
a day before practing in the venue.
two days before skipping school. :P
two days before ramping on that pageant. ;)

--i realized the pageant's way tooooo cool, and it's a fun experience for me.. ;) haha. Maksci batchmates' the best talaga. They'll be watching. :P

Much love to you guys.. ;)

Arrrghhhh.. Antagal ng 1 hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dumping Weekend.

2006-12-02T17:23:00.000+08:00

I dumped the trash. And dumped some other "stuffs".

We can call persons "stuffs" right?

I prayed to God for blessings but I wasn't referring to guys and dates as blessings.

Saying no was hard in such way that I didn't want to hurt feelings or something similar.

But it was easy in such way that HEY... I DID IT. ;)

There is a photo exhibit on monday.

OH GAWD SPARE MY ASS FROM SHITTING.

My pictures will be there.

I dont know if I should be happy about that, excited, or NERVOUS AND SUICIDAL.

HAHAHAHAHA!

Guess who was allowed to watch the backtoback concert of UPDHARMMA and PARAMITA?

Yoooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..

Can I kiss them??? OMYGOD...... I AM DROOOOOOOOOOOOLING OVER UPDHARMADOWN AND PARAMITA.. Seriously...omg..

HAHAHAHA..

Okay I'm going crazy.

A guy was asked,

"Kayo na?"

And he answered,

"Sana."

Oh for the love of God maging kayo na nga.. NOW NA!

Amf... You're killing the effing suspense you trollies!!!

And the claws of the angry catwoman slowly went back inside her smooth skin.

I miss our internet. :(

Btw, this is my picture from the cam of my friend in our photoshoot..

Drug Lord.

2006-11-28T15:06:00.000+08:00

The photoshoot last night was super fun. :)
The pictures were HORRYFYING.
Hahahaha! :)
Kidding! Pics were soooooooooooooo nice....

While waiting for the last shoot, kuya Randall and I played tongits..
PANIS! ;) Ambilis kong matongits.. hahaha
Hahaha. My character in the pageant's a drug lord. And para akong user nung photoshoot.
Ambangag!

Will post the pics as soon as I get them. :)

I can't believe how fun it had been. ;)
I love you OrComSoc.
Never thought I'd actually enjoy it. :)

The Dream Swimming to Nonexistence

2006-11-26T18:09:00.000+08:00

I'm finally feeling what I'm supposed to feel. :)
Awww... Youre sooo happy with B and it is sooo visible in your eyes. :)
Palms wide open, I wish you all the best without any feeling of negativity.
Yah I know you're keeping your distance. But it's all right. I know soon everything will go back to normal..

This is officially a Happy Weekend. :) I cannot be fuller than I could ever be.
Greenbelt 3, Glorietta 4, Megamall. :P
Sunday: Pollo Poco (tma b?? whatever), Sugarhouse... then went to my tito's house.
Saturday: Watched Happy Feet!!! :) Then ate at Friday's, then Starbucks. Went home at what?? 10:30! Hahaha. --Yah I know next time: LATER.
"Nagpapadalaga ka na ah" said dad.
Haha on that one. But no! Catch the follow up line...
"Magpabinata ka muna!"
Gee, thanks. :P Hahahaha

School works were nonexistent this weekend although they were supposed to exist.
I told you! HAPPY WEEKEND. Don't you just get my lovely point? Hahaha

Whistles in happiness. :)
Almost forgot but remembered just now. I had a dream last night. A nightmare.
Two couples were in my living room. You know them. We know them. And I was playing table tennis with a stranger. A strange dream it is. Then suddenly, all anger in me went out. It seemed like I just couldn't take them any longer. Then I screamed, "After years of not swearing, LET ME. P*t*ng*na niyo!! F**k you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And then I woke up, panting, then crying...

I don't want to conclude.
I just want to shut up and forget the dream.
It will and should go swimming to nonexistence... Now.

HUGCU

2006-11-24T18:42:00.000+08:00

I saw him again!!
the Hot [Unknown] Guy in CAS, UPM (HUGCU)
I wish I'd know his name. It's kind of weird crushing on someone I have no idea what year he's in, even his building, even his name.

Well all I know is that

he owns an ADIDAS bag
and a red NIKE shirt. :P

I am happy. I am at ease. I feel peaceful. :)
My mind is on the right track.
And I am friends with someone I thought I'd lose.
Go on and do your thing. Like I said, it's our long friendship we should remain knotted.

Help me God not to lose people I treasure. And help me not to have a problem with people I should trash. :P Harharharhar!

Night gimik with CSR peepz tomorrow.
I cant believe I miss you again guys. We just went out not more than a month ago. HAHAHA!
But I do miss you all. :)
No idea where we're hitting tomorrow all I know is whooohoooooo... PARTY TIME FOR LIL'S 18TH!! :0
Whooohoooo again, the photoshoot tomorrow for the pageant's postponed. :P

There's a tiny bit of anger left in me:
Some people are just meant to die rotting. :P

And some people are soooo worth to keep. Not you loser.

Filter.

2006-11-23T10:32:00.000+08:00

I have many friends. :) Yeah. I don't run out.
Wait, does anyone?
Wait again. My point is, I want to FILTER them.

Cause I certainly don't need losers in my list... now do I?
I think... I THINK, the temperature level of my head is rising so fast.
Just few more, the emotions inside could make me be a College Scholar again.

Add a lil more and I think I'd soon be enrolling myself in Harvard University.

I am talking to you (blog reader)...
If you are bull shitting my life...
TWO WORDS:
Get Out.
ONE WORD:
F***ER.

I surprised Lil in her house awhile ago.
"Ngayon birthday niya right?" I asked her sister and hesistated at the last minute. (Wow Jel asa loob ka na ng house't lahat..)
"Happy birthday lil!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Omygod!" --there she was, surprised by the invasion of a non-family member in her room at the very first day of her adulthood.
Oh well, that's the benefit of having our house near each other's. :)

I sooooper love our moments at the mall and in your house. Much thanks for a lot. :) Again, I love you Lil and enjoy your 18th bday. :) Mwah*

Weyn to the Rescue! :)

2006-11-15T16:57:00.000+08:00

This is my laaaaast chance to say....
What's in my heart before you came...

Nyak.. parang gaga talaga yung kantang un...
LSS ko. ampoooootek.

Did nothing sensible today.
Oo na mamaya WILL DO SOMETHING SENSIBLE NA.

Weyn to the rescue today sa fashion-problema ko. :) Thanks weyn... ;) Whooohoooooo. Kabangagan ang buhay today. Kailangan ko maramdaman ang aking dating naramdaman upang maging seryoso uli sa pagaaral at maging CS uli. or better yet US. or BEST yet... oble scholar pa eh.

E anu ba un?

ANGER AND HATRED!

Whoooooooooooooooooo... :) Game... Bastusin nio ako, awayin, lahat na... Para ako'y magalit at ibuhos ko ang aking sama ng loob sa aking mga test papers notebooks atbp.

Game. This week ha... Ay next week nalang. :)

The Problem in Blogging

2006-11-15T16:49:00.000+08:00

is... a lot.
Seriously. --And it never fails to day by day get into more nerves in my whole body.

I don't like that...

It is worse than Journalism and Communication classes. Write-ups are not to be submitted every Friday, or the next meeting. Essays are to be submitted everyday. Or at least more than twice a week.

People rant on your blog entries. Being the naive person that you are, you think that you cannot write well, and your life is so dull, who would care to read? And then you keep on posting, until you realize, people do talk about your entries. Some people who don't have a life (let's call them THE WORST BUMS) and are far far related [and not even acquainted] to you, actually read your journal, as if a newspaper.

There is this thing called "blog hopping" and it is worse than being an insomaniac, [but they're relative]. You do not know why but you just keep on browsing blogs, clicking on blog-links and judging pictures, entries, and layouts like a god. You want to sleep. But nah-uh. There you go... Clicking again.

Stalking is now on the line. As much as I would want to emphasize the danger of this, I cant. For I am sooo guilty of this act. ;) Booohoooo. :P

The list goes on. Reasons of its negativity just never runs out.

So tell me... Why do I still bother to blog?
My sister said, It's because I feel my life is too controversial that I feel people actually spend a lot of their time updating themselves on what's happening in my life.
Oh don't you just love my sister's sweetness? Since when had she become a frustrated psychologist?

Esta es falso y mal.
Mi hermana es bruja.
No esta divertida.

I blog because it's easier than sending individual e-mails to my friends and updating them on what is in the deepest part of my hypothalamus. ;) It enhances my creativity on IT and English. It's also fun sharing to people nice and non-top-secret events in my life. :) --Right right?

One thing that keeps me going maybe is that with these blogs (both multiply and blogspot), I feel that I have my own magazine, or newspaper. I can publish anytime. And people can see anytime. And ohhyeah. People can, unfortunately, rant anytime.

I have undergone some of the worst blog experiences that my mind is not anymore virgin of the million possibilies that blogs may turn one's life to hell. Those experiences may be one of the reasons why I had my blog leave. But like I said, since blogging is like my life's Oxygen, I could only suspend, but never end.

I have not been too cautious in my words. The connection of the keyboards and my fingertips was so romantic, I could not pull it off. I was totally unaware that I seemed to be pressing PUBLISH as often as the beat of my heart. My computer diary (Lotus Organizer, a program not very popular) felt bad as it soon felt its nonexistence in my life. If blogs were deprived of secrecy, and my computer diary owned every detail, there came a point when my blog soon owned the details, and the diary was forgotten.

My blog was accessed more than 20 times a day. When I try not going online for days, the counter seemed to be counting breathtakes. I tried to pull back security by writing in a figurative language. But I soon felt I was in a horror house, for no mattter how deep I try to become, people still get to swim into that depth and still completely understand the incomplete jigsaw puzzle.

It was flattering. But dangerous.
This I'm sharing is not a bluff.
I could no more emphasize it more than this: I suffocated.

The only thing I wanted to do was either to delete the whole thing, or to keep it unaccessible, and take my blog leave.

I then found my peace in Multiply's security.
But in the end, I realized that with or without security, checking the rate of information I am giving is more important the checking the content's spelling and grammar.
That's why I now Blogspot again. =)

The specific details of my life are so beautiful, I could not let just anyone take a peek of it. :)

So if you think my life is beautiful now, I swear... It is much much more beautiful magnified. :)

Teenage Dirtbags.

2006-11-12T22:06:00.000+08:00

Teenage dirtbags have the right to be admired.
What's cool is that when they're admired, their level of dirtbagness goes a little way up.
What's uncool is, they'll remain the loser that they were. Just lessened.
Really. Haha. LS's playing Teenage Dirtbag right now.
Jus wanna comment on the lyrics. :D
Tsktsktsk. Bad Jel. Baka madirtbag ako. :P

Moto's malfunctioning again.
Argh. I dont wanna go to Glorietta again!
Ano to, sinuswerte???
--Aright. Tuesday I will if it still wont work right.

Last night of vacation. :(
But I made the most out of it naman. So no regrets. ;)

Yea whatever. Shut me up. :)

OCness keeps me awake.
Sked in my organizer and all.

Gnyt. :)

Kings of Chaos.

2006-11-11T23:48:00.000+08:00

Huhu-haha! Guess who's KoC-ing again?! Hahahaha!
Yea let's crawl back to a thousand days ago...
Haha. Tuwang tuwa ako sa game na to when I was what?? 2nd year.
Kasi hindi xa nakakaaddict. You can only play the game for a few minutes.
It's not like Dota, Ragna, Red Alert, & etc na tuloy tuloy ka magplay for hours. :P

But ate forbid me from playing it. :(
Don't know why. Kasi "online game" ata xa.
Waaaaaahh.. DISCRIMINATION!!!!
Bakit yung neopets?! Online game nga rin yun eh. :(
She said SAYANG DAW INET CARD.
Bwahahahaha. Unlimited Internet na kme ngaun. :P Cgro pwede na. hehehe..

I just need fun and leisure and something to make my mind fly off soooooper-serious things. :)
School's hectic. Breaktimes, gimiks, n games serve as life's spices.
Yes I prioritize school. I don't need anyone nagging me about that. :P

Cake's done.
Hahaha! Coolness. :P
Check it out: Yellow Cake with Icing n Me. :P Link

NOTE TO PEOPLE:
hey.. im kings-of-chaos-ing again.. :P please click this link and press the number said on the page. :) no virus ian. for my benefit lang for the game. walang dapat isipin. click lang talaga kaylangan ko. :) please please. hahahah.. :)

I'M GOOD AND I WILL CLICK THIS LINK AS ANGEL SAYS. :P

thnxthnx soooooooooooper.. hahaha.. :P

(yea.. boredness and miss-ness made me play this game again.. :P)

Online and Bored.

2006-11-11T02:24:00.000+08:00

What time is it?
two-something. 2:17
I started hoppie hoppie hopping at 10 something.
so I'm about [or more than] 4 hours hopping.
w[orld]w[ide]w[eb]-hopping.

and I'm not sleepy yet.
KAI the sleeping addict slept already.

No globe unlimitxt friend is still up.

Should I sleep now?
Or continue figuring out what to do with the night?

It's so damn obvious Jel.
The latter. :P

Hahaha! Sooo evil. Wait.
I'll just check these Photoshop stuffies I have, then I'll ZZzzzzzzzz. Swear!!
=P

[Huhuhu... Senti music makes me senti! Argh. Why play such songs Jel?!]

I saved the hundreds!

2006-11-11T00:17:00.000+08:00

Spent 6 hrs and a half for that job.
Earned P300. :) Okay na yun.
Nangati agad kamay ko as I was txting some makscians --nangangarap na pupuntang Glo.
But good thing it was controlled.
Yes the hundreds were saved! Haha!

Helped tito (duh jel! you more like watched!) do the flavoring for the bbq, and make the fruit salad!! :) --bakit ako happy eh I dont eat fruit salad naman.. :P

Didn't eat dinner.
Wait. Am I reducing?!
Hell, no! No way!

Royal icing tomorrow. I swear maayos na talaga yung cake! =)

Wala akong magawa. :( Walang wala.
I'm still awake just because I wanna use every single minute of my remaining days of sembreak.

But there's really nothing to do. :(
Senti music pa sa laptop. Hanukayayon. Edi senti-mood din. Argh.

Told you. Non sense posts are posted here. So if ever you're here, WHY ARE YOU HERE? Haha. Whoever you are. Whoever makes that number of copies sold go counting, kicking and alive. :P

Booohoooo.... Corny-ass.

Yellow Cake.

2006-11-09T10:30:00.000+08:00

I baked two yellow cakes yesterday.
It was sooooooo delicious. We only ate the other one.
I reserved the other one since I'll be putting icing on it today.
But damn.. :( I need cream of tartar.

I hope I'll be allowed to go to the nearest supermarket and buy one.
As me, "Where is the nearest supermarket?"

In POWERPLANT. or atleast that's the nearest one that I know.

Haha! Yea.

So how did I spend my last remaining days of sembreak? :)

cleaned the house (two houses pala)
--my closet
baked a cake (two cakes pala)
drawn the weblayout for my tita's business (starting it na.. :P)

Yaaayy.. My mood is good. :) Tomorrow's racket day. Hehe. Sideline ko. So I have to be at that place the whole day (and huhuu.. as early as 7am..) Who cares. I'll get money anyway. :P Wooohoooooo!

My Motorola celphone's malfunctioning, so I really have to go out. :(
I have to fix this ASAP since I need this for my one-day job tomorrow. :( Arrgggghhhh.
I need to go to HUB or Smart Wireless Center... ARGHH.

College Scholar. :)

2006-11-07T17:46:00.000+08:00

CS ako!
would you believe it?all those asshole stuffs paid off?
didn't expect it.
kaya masaya. :P

my sched for 2nd sem's not pretty much amusing. :(
but who cares anyway.. :P

--i just thought i need some early dismissals for high school programs (maksci)???
battle of the bands?????
danztra?????

huuhuhuhuuuuuu..

odearlord..
WHY IS MY SCHED LIKE THIS?!?!

"ok lang ian.. CS ka naman eh" -God answers.
OK FINE! :P

World's Greatest Bum.

2006-11-06T15:55:00.000+08:00

Slept at 2.30 last night (watching Friends DVD).
Woke up at 2pm today. I watched etc for 30 minutes awhile ago.
Guess what I watched?
FRIENDS.

Hahaha! Lil creep.

So many things I wanna do.
But I sooo lack the energy.

I wanna sleep again. :( Owell wahatever.

The moon last night was awfully cool. :)

Overnight and Overdrive.

2006-11-04T14:13:00.000+08:00

Still in Nelle's house. :)
Having sooooo much fun.
I went out yesterday and spent time at the mall with Lil and Bes.
Watched oh-so-pretty PRESTIGE! Whooohooooooo. Way to go-ness. :P Harhar!
Roadtrip to IMUS CAVITE. Haha. Was so surprised, but it's all right.
Lil and I spent more than four hours talking about EVERYTHING on the way.
Was dropped off at Nelle's house after getting home.
Then nagbrownout.
What now??
Haha.. ROADTRIP kame!!! =D
The Fort (nakiepal sa The Gathering ng Wave 89.1), Roxas Blvd, MOA (pero pinaalis ng guard).

"Ahh..San ho kau?" -guard (2am na nun!!)
"Err.. Roadtrip po."

Hahahahahaha....
Today's destination is anywhere... seriously... kasi full pa yung gas tank.. Hahahah!

Gonna go home. TODAY.

Another Light at the End

2006-11-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

If I don't get to chill with my friends, I don't get to smile at all.
Family's fine. DUH.
Had a Halloween party and cooked Marshmallows and hotdogs at the front yard.
But kinda--if I don't do something, I won't even get to feel that I breathe, that I live, that I exist.
So I need to go out of the house and feel it. Feel that I live.
My life lacks spice.

So far, I think my grades are these:

1.5/1.75*
1.5
2
2.25/2.5*
* - labels uncertainty
some are still not given...

Whatever duh. I know I can do better. I'll show you next sem!
I'll show you TRANSCRIPT!

Still didn't see the poem. I have the feeling I gave it to someone else. Oh why did I not furnish a copy?!?! Argh.

Sleeping at Nelle's crib tom.
Lots of Maksci people going. =) Can't wait to see you guys.
I want an all night conversation with Dynna and tco. =) I miss our trio-ness.

Going to watch THE PRESTIGE with Lil and Bes tomorrow.
Can't wait too! =)

Anger lessened. Hatred still there.
But what the... What's the use of caring when the person's not even to be considered a loser?
Man! You've got nothing to lose... HELL-o??????

Screw you.

Ohh.. Ohhhh... Please don't tell me these stuffs are Karma. 'Cause if karma exists, I'd be asking for the good returns now. I am being killed by people's insanity. ARGGHHHHHH.

Mission Impossible

2006-11-02T16:40:00.000+08:00

I wanna get your head, CRUSH it. And see you die.
I am hating every bit of you.
What is there to love even?
Not even a twinge of beauty exists.

Cause there's only one word to define you.

SUCKER.

Gonna go to the mall with CSR friends tomorrow. :)
Guys I miss you.

My Verdict and My Mission

2006-11-01T22:16:00.000+08:00

I miss posting nonsense. :)
Don't you people?
Went to cemetery. The traffic drove me crazy. Well I could have handled it if it was just the traffic alone, but HARD RAIN?! You kidding?
I've got a verdict. =P It's a secret.
The mission however is for me to find that poem. It's... disturbing. I have to see it.
It was written like years ago, but the contents are hunting me.
I have to reread them again.

It was the attempt to write a poem of passionate shepherd. It was a homework. I was given a copy. So I have my own.

Shit. But where?!?!

I'll probably just be writing nonsense here.
Blogspot is nonsense.
Multi is sensible.

Bull.

Curls are hot.
I wanna curl my hair.
Hmm.. Okay, tomorrow that is.
And the day after that.
And the day after the day after that.

Missing my layout

2006-08-16T17:29:00.000+08:00

Will return my previous happy layout.

DONE.

The Truth of My Core

2006-06-24T18:06:00.000+08:00

Whenever I walk past my line
I deeply breathe the things I can't have
Inhaling them deeply, savouring, enjoying
It hurts that after awhile
All of them, I have to exhale

I walk around as if I have no sense
Everything I breathe, I cannot feel
In this place I don't exist
Worse, if I do, myself, I have to hide
My happiness, I have to force
The limelight, I have to chase

I was holding the wheels so tight
Yet it still escaped my grip
Now I have to release my hold
My sweaty palm made it stain
To close my palm, I'd do no more
If that is for the best
Even to move my hand, I would not do

The happiness is in my hands
But if it will cause destruction
To sacrifice is the only answer
Everything will be kept
Nothing will be left unlocked
The palm, the skin would bleed
Yet still, I'd rather not speak
Than betray the truth of the core

My Drive

2006-06-19T16:59:00.000+08:00

I drive this road and make such turns
The marks of chalk, I obediently follow
I reach many stones and humps
Yet my scale is not at its peak
I could not beep, I make no noise
My strength I intend only for my step
Days and weeks I spent my sorrow
Even half as the days of my joy
My mind could not think
My body becomes weak
Am I near to the end?
Am I farther to peace?
I am too confused to understand the marks
I follow, but no oxygen circulates
I follow, but no light shines in the end
Nothing else works but the three
The foot that steps
The eyes that see
The memories that stay
I shouldn't have gone from that dead river
My car is still moving
My being is still alive
Everything is still happening
But that river makes me want to die
My fuel, I wish it's empty
My battery, I wish it's dead
Perhaps a tree to kill the vehicle
Perhaps a doom to kill the self

*2 grammatical errors corrected